Above All Shadows - Deleted Scenes
by wedgetail
Summary: Scenes from my Loki time travel fic "Above All Shadows" that didn't make it into the final version.
1. Chapter 1

**Loki and the Warriors Three after Sif****'s funeral**

**Original placement:** beginning of Chapter 9 - Blue Skin, Red Eyes

Sif's funeral ceremony turned out to be an unpleasant affair, even for a funeral. Her sisters had certainly made the appropriate arrangements: a long boat laden in the finery of their house, hundreds of lanterns, an orchestra and a choir. Loki had caught a glimpse of the refreshments that awaited the attendees after the choir finished singing the lamentations — it was the best Asgard had to offer.

Everything had been tasteful and picked out with great care, but the gathered were restless and distracted. Loki felt their eyes bore into him from every direction. Worse yet, a messenger had arrived for him in the middle of Tyr's eulogy with a report on the progress of the advance parties presently using portals to covertly infiltrate Jotunheim.

The minute Sif's boat slipped out of view, Loki turned to Sif's two sisters.

'Please forgive me,' he said. 'I must return to the palace. Once again, my condolences on your loss.'

They muttered quiet thank yous and curtsied. Loki motioned for his guards to clear a path for him through the crowd. There was no sense in trying to engage Tyr before he left. Loki had now tried twice to offer his condolences, but whenever he drew close to Tyr, the man's face turned to such a vicious scowl Loki wondered if he were about to receive Tyr's fist in the face. Apparently, whether Loki was negotiating with Jotunheim or invading it, Tyr was determined to remain hostile.

Loki and his retinue made it to the back of the crowd when he spotted three figures huddled beneath the birch trees that grew along the boulevard. Hogun, Fandral and Volstagg. He was surprised at himself that he hadn't noticed their absence earlier.

'What are you three doing back here?' he asked.

Volstagg emerged from the shadow of the trees, Fandral closely behind him, and offered Loki a shallow bow. 'Lord Tyr didn't want us visiting Sif while she was in the healers' care. We didn't think he would be overjoyed to see us at the funeral either.'

'Probably a wise decision. Grief manifests in different ways, Sif's father seems to have settled on anger.'

'He gave you an earful too?' Fandral asked.

Loki shifted his grip on Gungnir in lieu of a reply. Fandral and Volstagg had chosen to treat this interaction as an informal conversation, which suited Loki just fine. Royal protocol was tiresome. But the question Fandral had put to him overstepped the bounds. A ruler could hardly blurt out complains about one of his chief advisers to every dandy he happened to stumble across. All the more so, when he had ten guards trailing him. Palace guards were the biggest rumourmongers in Asgard.

'Lord Tyr will have opportunity aplenty to burn off his anger on the frost giants tomorrow,' Volstagg said.

Loki guessed he had caught onto Fandral's impropriety. Being the eldest of the Warriors Three, he had more experience with the subtleties of palace life than the rest of Thor's friends.

'Quite true,' Fandral laughed, still seemingly oblivious. 'I hope to give more than a few what they deserve as well. We all do, I think.'

Volstagg glanced over to the distant spot where Sif's boat had slipped beyond their sight, then drew his gaze back to Loki and Fandral. 'It was a good attempt on trying to arrange ransom, Loki, but frost giants just don't go for that.'

'Though what is this about Laufey accusing you of being a frost giant?' Fandral added.

Loki felt the blood drain out of his face. 'Where did you hear that?'

'It's all over the palace. It's not true, right?'

'You three have known be practically my entire life. Has there ever been any hint I'm not Asgardian?' Loki faked a laugh, then cleared his throat. 'I should get back to the palace.'

**Why the scene was cut:** I had a lot of trouble finding a way to transition from Loki's failed attempt to negotiate with Laufey to Tyr's coup d'etat against him. I wanted to acknowledge Sif's death properly and to give an indication of the fallout from Loki's conversation with Laufey. The problem was this scene gave Loki too much information — here he's made aware that Tyr is still furious, that his true heritage is a now subject of public gossip and that the Warriors Three are not hostile to him. It was more fun to leave him (and the readers) blindsided by the coup and uncertain of whether anyone was still on his side.

* * *

**Loki scopes out the Sanctuary City space port**

**Original Placement: **beginning of Chapter 26 - Schemes

'You hid it where?' Loki said, not bothering to temper his incredulity. 'How did you manage to get in without seen the first time, let alone expect to get back in there now?

'They won't be expecting us anywhere near the Mess Hall. It'd be the ports hosting ships to get out of here that they'll be scouting first up,' Brunnhilde replied.

Loki stuck out his index finger in Brunnhilde's direction. 'And here's the rub, once they realise we are not to be found at any of the ports, they'll spread out to the rest of the city. Everyone's got to eat. I had a rather light breakfast, so I could use a meal right now. Knowing how it is in the cells, it's been a while since you've had anything other than scraps and breadcrumbs. You know how it is with food around here, it's a perfectly reasonable move to keep a tight watch over the Mess Hall.'

'What do you know about the cells? Have you been helping out down there too?'

'No, I haven't,' Loki replied in a flat tone. More annoyed at his own slip than at Brunnhilde trying to pick a fight with him just because he had questioned her strategy. 'I've been in other cells though. I wager it's not that different.'

Brunnhilde seemed to not hear his words and went on a different tack altogether. 'What then are you planning to do, Loki? We need the schematics contained in that data. What's done is done, I'm going to go and dig the datapad back up.'

As far as questions went, it was a fair one. They did need the information held in the files Brunnhilde had stolen from the Palisade and since she had chosen to bury it beneath the Mess Hall, at least one of them had to return there to retrieve it. He would have gone himself — he was in a better physical condition than Brunnhilde, but he wasn't sure she would be able to explain to him in enough detail the location where he would need to start digging. And, he were honest with himself, he preferred for Brunnhilde to be captured than himself. She had already told them the one great secret she held. What she could say about Asgard or Sakaar were no crucial pieces of information, especially not compared to what Loki held in his own head. He had no illusion that he would be able to keep those memories to himself should he be subject to a proper interrogation.

He rolled his shoulders back, then glanced to the dirt-caked window above them. 'Fine, fine. You've got retrieve it. We'll meet across the road from the munitions factory at the third sunset. If either of us doesn't make it there, the alternative rendezvous point is back here.'

'It'll work out.' One corner of Brunnhilde's lips pulled up. 'I'll see you at the third.'

Loki clicked his fingers and the Chitauri glamour restored itself over Brunnhilde's body. He didn't like using his magic in such a flamboyant manner, especially considering the effort it would take to hold the spell despite the distance between them, but it was preferable to letting Brunnhilde head out undisguised while she was one half of the most wanted pair in the Sanctuary.

'Brunnhilde,' he called out after her when she was almost at the door, 'did you tell them about my glamour?'

She frowned. 'It never came up, I don't think.'

Loki nodded, although he wasn't entirely satisfied with the answer. He watched Brunnhilde leave, then stared at the gap she had ducked though for several minutes daring himself to come up with a better idea than the one Brunnhilde had talked him into. Nothing came. He sighed and pushed himself off the floor. He had about two hours before he was due to meet up with the Valkyrie; there were more useful things he could do than sit here in the company of his unceasing and violently abusive inner monologue.

He let his magic reclaim the skin he had grown up with. Although it was as much as deception as the Chitauri disguise he had adopted earlier, this magic was intimately familiar to Loki and asked a lot less of him than any other glamour he could adopt. He stripped off the jacket; it bore the insignia of Thanos' military forces across the shoulders. The shirt beneath was a plain one. Once he rubbed some dirt into it and added a few extra scuff-marks to his boots, he thought he didn't stand out from the thousands of labourers at work in Sanctuary City on any normal day.

Being on his own, Loki relished his own hypocrisy in silence. He had been aghast initially at the notion that Brunnhilde had to return to the Mess Hall, yet here he was heading for the very spot where Thanos and his underlings would be waiting for him. Unfortunately, long years of experience had drilled into him the necessity of this act. Brunnhilde was more cautious than Thor and his gaggle of friends, but not by much. Should they survive long enough to get out of the Palisade, Loki wanted to know what their options were for getting off Theta-Three.

The increased security at the port was obvious from two blocks away. As a squadron of armed guards marched past, Loki hurried over to examine the wares for sale at the nearby street stall. The owner was making good business in this hour of the afternoon. While he focused on other clients, Loki swiped a pack of biwan joints and a lighter.

Biwan, whether smoked or chewed, was a favourite activity for many manual labourers working in the Sanctuary. Loki had never actually tried one, but he had seen countless labourers idling in every open space to be found. He pulled a joint out of the packet and fiddled with it. There was no need to light it just yet, not when he wasn't sure of the side-effects of inhaling the smoke.

_I bet I__'m the first of the Jotnar to try the stuff. Laufey would be so proud._

He spotted Brunnhilde's ship peering out from among its larger neighbours in the long term parking. If the ship was being watched, Loki saw no sign of it. Yet it wasn't the only thing that gave him pause. The ship had needed refuelling after the journey from Sakaar. He had once mentioned to Brunnhilde off-handedly that they needed to arrange for fuelling should Loki want to make a quick exit, but he wasn't certain Brunnhilde had followed up on that. Even if she had tried, she mightn't have been successful. Ship fuel couldn't be procured locally and was thus always rationed in the Sanctuary. The port operators wouldn't have been happy to have a random ship full of fuel simply sitting there for weeks.

'Father will skin me alive before the day is done,' came a familiar voice.

Loki lit the biwan and bringing the joint up to his lips, made a shallow inhale. The smoke tasted like wet charcoal; he was glad to have not inhaled more of it. He probably would have started coughing if he had. Nebula and Proxima Midnight walked right past him. Attracting attention was the last thing he needed right now.

'And a right hypocrite he'll be,' Proxima responded. 'He got taken in by the story just as well as you. In fact, he had the sceptre at his disposal and he still couldn't figure out he was being lied to.'

Nebula's eyes widened, but Loki was unsurprised. Of all the Children of Thanos, Proxima Midnight was the only one willing to call out the Great Titan's flaws and shortcomings. Corvus Glaive, Loki had heard, sometimes challenged Thanos outright. He had long wondered if it was the close bond between Proxima and Corvus that inoculated them from the worst of the fanaticism that inflicted so many of Thanos' followers.

'How did Loki manage that?' Nebula said.

Proxima cocked her head to better follow the progress of the work team preparing a ship for departure. 'That's a question for your father and the Maw to answer.'

Loki masked his grin behind another try at the biwan. The second inhale thrilled his taste-buds no better than the first and he felt no trace of the mild elation the substance was supposed to elicit in the smoker. He coughed lightly.

Proxima glanced over to him. 'Hey! What are you standing about for? Don't you have work to do?'

_Time to get out of here._

**Why the scene was cut:** There was so much preparation for their plan to assassinate Thanos, I was bored out of my mind. You might notice that the key information from this scene ended up summarised in the published opening scene to Chapter 26. I was sad to lose was the exchange between Proxima and Nebula, but it wasn't needed. I had briefly considered having Proxima take part in the attack on Earth. Once that idea was scrapped, there was no point in trying to flesh out Proxima's character.


	2. Chapter 2

**3\. Thor and Loki catching up**

**Original placement: **end of Chapter 31 – Midgard

The ruins of a research facility made for a poor base of operations, but Coulson was keen to remain close, so a helicopter was arranged to airlift them to a more structurally sound SHIELD facility an hour away. Romanoff took the co-pilot's seat and Coulson had already buried himself in his lap top before the helicopter had even taken off. The two junior SHIELD agents accompanying them sat at the back, their jaws clenched tight and their fingers hovering over the triggers on their rifles. Without any of the Midgardians to draw their attention, it left Loki and Thor peering at each other.

Thor, as had been inevitable, broke the silence first. 'Why are you back now?'

That hadn't been the question Loki had expected from his brother and he wasn't entirely sure how he ought to answer it. There was the original explanation he had given his family about his decision to leave Asgard, but revelations about his Jotunn heritage seemed like matter of centuries long past compared to the threat of Thanos' coming. And he had already conceded he had become entangled with the Titan during his absence from Asgard. But where to start on that wasn't a simple decision to make.

'Heimdall twisted my arm to get me to come,' Loki said after a pause. 'He told me the servants of Thanos had come to Midgard and that you had come to meet them. I was worried about you.'

Thor scoffed, startling the two SHIELD agents at the back. 'Do you know how much we've all worried about you for the best part of a year now? Mother has been inconsolable. I was about to go find you and drag you back to Asgard myself. It was only father who persuaded me to give you more time.'

'Father is seldom wrong. Here I am, aren't I?'

Loki had aimed to calm his brother down, but his words seemed to produce the opposite result. Thor shook his head, his lips taut, then glared at Loki.

'What did you do to Heimdall?' he demanded. 'The man is supposed to report to the king of Asgard, but you and him had some other agreement I take it. I knew nothing of Thanos or his servants until tonight, yet he must have known something about these people if he went off to tell you about their arrival on Midgard. So he knew of this danger and yet told me nothing.'

'Don't talk to me in that tone. I am your brother, not your lackey.'

'Explain then, brother.'

The helicopter tilted as the pilot made a turn and Loki could see more of the landscape they were flying over. The land seemed to be flat and largely fallow, but bisected by endless straight lines of highways, unpaved roads and power lines. Loki didn't find a single recognisable feature in that landscape.

'Loki,' Thor said sharply, as he fiddled with Mjolnir's leather strap. Patience had never been his strength.

'Don't punish Heimdall on this, I begged him to keep the matter to himself for as long as he could. How would mother have reacted had she find out I had become entangled with a megalomaniac who would take every inch of the universe for his own? He has a grievance with me now, I thought if he was to pursue me, it would be best not to draw his attention to the Nine Realms. Thus I stayed away. And in case, Asgard was of interest to him, I told you to look to the realm's defences.'

'It would've been easier to prepare our defences if we knew what the danger was.'

Loki sighed. 'I had no clue what form Thanos' attack would take or if it would come at all.' He glanced around the helicopter, looking for an alternate topic of conversation. Where Thor was taking this didn't impress him at all and he wasn't in the mood to concede that he had spent half the year drinking, fornicating and trying his absolute best to ignore Thanos' continued existence. 'How is father?'

'Regaining his strength, slowly.'

'Still? It has been months?'

'This is why we needed you back,' Thor replied. 'For the first few months, he couldn't stay awake for more than a few hours and walking past the end of the corridor was beyond him. He is stronger now, but the healers believe he will never regain full strength. The poison on that spear would've killed any weaker man. Of course, his mind remains sharp and he helps me where he can. It's not… Your council and your presence would've been more helpful than I can put into words.'

Loki sensed Thor was entirely correct. There were circles under his eyes and his hair hung limp around his ears. There was an unfamiliar rounding of Thor's shoulders too. And perhaps most telling, Loki couldn't recount his brother ever being so humourless, not in this time-line at least.

'I'm sorry, Thor,' Loki said. 'I've been dwelling too much on my own thoughts of late and very little on the needs of others. For what it's worth, I'm here now and I intend to see this affair through to the end.'

'And after we're done here on Midgard?'

The left corner of Loki's lips drew up. 'I'll come back to Asgard with you.'

Thor beamed and in that moment, he was once more the boisterous youth that Loki had grown up. From there the conversation shifted back, centuries back, when Loki and Thor had been very young and had journeyed to Midgard with their father. There were more stories to reminisce over than could be contained in an hour's helicopter ride, but Loki didn't hurry Thor along. Mostly, he was just relieved that the tension that had lingered between them since his first minutes after arriving to Midgard now fell away and they could enjoy their camaraderie once more.

**Why the scene was cut: **Loki and Thor had to address Loki's extended absence in some way, but I had a problem with Thor and Loki talking so openly in front of a bunch of SHIELD personnel they barely know. This is why the replacement scene to this one takes place once they find a bit of privacy in the bunker. The other big issue with this one was continuity. Loki made several complaints about Heimdall's behaviour and decisions in chapters 30 and 31; it makes little sense for Loki to now ask Thor not to punish Heimdall.

* * *

**4\. Loki and Steve stranded in San Francisco**

**Original placement:** end of Chapter 33 – San Francisco

The military didn't know what to do with them. After several minutes of heated exchanges among the soldiers, a profoundly irritated major insisted Thor, Loki and Rogers head over to a truck parked by a ditch about a couple hundred feet down the road from the site of the battle. The truck's cab and chassis was painted to blend with the terrain and a layer of undyed canvas formed the roof of the back section. Loki scrunched up his nose as he climbed inside. The back of the truck reeked of stale sweat and swamp water; it was probably best not to dwell on who had been the truck's last passengers. The three of them shuffled to spots on the benches that ran along each side — the same spots they had chosen for themselves back on the quinjet.

'You had best stay in here until orders are relayed to us,' said an infantry man who had positioned himself across the path off the truck. Through the gap in the canvas behind him, Loki could see more men constantly moving about. They weren't officially being held, but they weren't exactly free to leave either.

'Lord Almighty,' Rogers muttered, 'this place actually feels familiar.'

'The back of an unwashed vehicle?' Thor asked while Loki had to stifle a chuckle.

'I've spent a lot of time in the back of filthy trucks. This one does look sturdier than the ones I remember struggling through every pothole in Europe.'

Loki cocked his head. 'How long exactly has it been since they defrosted you?'

'Seven weeks,' Rogers replied, not quite meeting Loki or Thor's gaze.

Thor seemed to be mulling over what should be the appropriate response this information, but studying Rogers' drawn lips and furrowed forehead, Loki got the inkling that Rogers wouldn't appreciate a pair of aliens offering commentary on his situation. Loki crossed his arms together and glanced to the armed man in front of the exit — Esposito, according to his name tag.

'Do you have a mobile phone on you?' Loki asked. 'They gave you one, right?'

Rogers winced. 'They did. I left it on the table back in the bunker; not really used to carrying it around just yet.'

'Where've SHIELD been keeping you?' Loki asked. 'As much as I appreciated the hospitality of the local military, we need to rendezvous with Coulson and his people. Or we can encamp at Stark's? I hear he has a fine tower all to himself.'

'Tony Stark lives in New York. That's where I've spent the past seven weeks also. It's on the other side of the country,' Rogers replied. 'I do have Coulson's number memorised.'

'Well, that's something,' Loki muttered. He rose from his seat and walked over to their unofficial guard, who twitched a little at Loki's approach, but said nothing. 'Private Esposito, is it? Could we trouble you for a phone we could use for a few minutes?'

'Hang on,' the private said gruffly. He called over his shoulder to the soldiers working in the vicinity of the truck. After a few exchanges well-peppered with crude language, someone thrust a mobile phone through the gap between the canvas flaps. Esposito took it and offered it to Loki.

Loki had never actually used one of these though he had seen them used often enough. He glanced at the buttons and the coloured screen. The numbers looked like the standard ones used across much of Midgard, the rest of the symbols left him mystified. He had seen people make phone calls plenty of times, but he had never paid particularly close attention to the process. Swallowing his pride, he handed the phone to Rogers.

'I hope I get this right,' Rogers remarked as he gingerly began pressing buttons. Someone had been intelligent enough to take him through the process, but didn't go over it enough to make Rogers comfortable with what he was doing. After a dozen buttons, Rogers pressed the phone against his ear and waited. Long seconds trickled by. Rogers pulled the phone away. 'There's no one picking up the line, it just keeps ringing.'

'Try again.'

Rogers nodded and repeated the process with the buttons. This time the seconds seemed to stretch out even longer and Rogers' darker. Then he jerked in his seat. 'Hello?'

A crackle on the other side of the line.

'Hello, Natasha,' Rogers said, his voice becoming calmer. 'I was actually after Agent Coulson. We are in a dire need of a lift back to base.'

Rogers nodded along to whatever Romanoff was telling him; the sound didn't carry well enough for Loki to make out the words. After a minute he pressed his fingers over the bottom half of the phone and whispered. 'She's on her way.'

'Good,' Loki replied.

**Why the scene was cut: **In the first draft of the San Francisco battle, I did have Thor stay back rather than pursue Ebony Maw and Tyr. Halfway through writing this scene I realised that having Thor around offers no benefit – he fades from the scene and you barely even notice. At that point I knew that I had to rewrite the end of the San Francisco battle sequence and much of the aftermath. This scene was the first thing to go. It had some interesting dialogue from Steve, but the rest of it didn't work for me. I couldn't see Loki meekly allow himself to be shuffled into a truck and far too much time is spent on making a simple phone call.

* * *

A/N: What do you guys think? Are there any elements in these you would've liked to see in the story itself?


	3. Chapter 3

**5\. Loki and Thor have a late night chat**

**Original Placement: end of Chapter 36 – A King's Oaths**

Loki got through three pages of SHIELD's briefs and half a mug of tea before he was interrupted.

'Brother, a word if it's not too much trouble?' Thor asked. He stood in the doorway, fiddling with the strap of his left vambrace. At Loki's nod, he took a place at the dining table beside Loki, but continued fidgeting. 'There is something I must ask of you before… Well, it concerns whatever might come in the future generally.'

Loki raised his eyebrows. 'Please, do keep me in suspense until the next millennium.'

'This isn't an easy subject and I don't have your way with words, Loki.' Thor jerked his hand away from his vambrace, as if he's just become conscious of what he'd been doing. 'Over the past few months I've thought a great deal about Jotunheim. I do appreciate the lengths you went to in order to rescue me, but I must ask you never to do that again.'

'What are you talking about?'

'You ordered Heimdall to unleash the Bifrost upon Jotunheim. You were ready to sacrifice all the Jotnar in exchange for my life.'

'They threw me away when my existence became inconvenient,' Loki replied. 'It was fair retribution.'

'No, it wasn't.'

Loki cocked his head at his brother's sharp change of tone. 'Where does the sudden affection for the frost giants come from?'

'You're a frost giant too, Loki,' Thor said. Loki was about to respond, but Thor motioned for Loki to wait his turn. 'My request to you has nothing to do with frost giants, but since you asked. When they first captured me, I couldn't see anything and only heard snippets. Once they brought me to Utgard, however, Sigran gave me back my sight and hearing. During the time they kept me in Laufey's Hall, I was witness to all the comings and goings in that house. It didn't take long to see how life in Laufey's House mirrored life inside the palace on Asgard, although the Jotnar were poorer and more desperate. They weren't beasts we read about in our storybooks, just people like any other. They do not deserve condemnation for what Laufey did to you.'

Loki couldn't refute that. The fate he inflicted on the inhabitants of Utgard had nagged at him from the moment he had dragged Thor back to Asgard. The fact that his half-sister was supposed to be ruling in Jotunheim, when Byleistr and his two children had been ahead in the line of succession, didn't bode well. He wrapped his hands around his mug. 'They could've found a way to be rid of Laufey if they found his governance distasteful. Asgardians were quick to do so with me.'

Thor's expression darkened, then he drew his head back until he peered up at the air conditioning vent above them.

'And that is another matter that reinforced my conviction,' he said. 'I'm used to you telling me tall tales. So when you first told me what happened on Asgard during my absence, I thought you exaggerated and assumed it was likely about half of what you said was true. What an unpleasant surprise truth was when the trials began. I was almost glad you weren't there to hear the bitterness pouring out of Tyr.'

'And thus, the frost giants are not wholly evil and the Asgardians are not wholly good? Is that your great revelation?'

'Mock me all you like, brother.'

Loki sipped his rapidly cooling tea. 'It's not half as fun when you are ready to roll over and take it.'

'Ah, so that's the secret?' A shadow of a smile crossed Thor's face, but he forced himself to remain sombre. 'There's one more thing I think you should consider. It regards your blood father. The day before you rescued me, Laufey and his sorceress had a conversation up on the peak that didn't make sense to me then, I understand it now. Laufey spoke of his regret at having to give up a child he named Farbautisson and his elation at the child's return. He was contemplating giving the child large territories of govern after the war was finished.'

'It was a trick, nothing more. Eventually he would have revealed to you that I had switched sides, causing you further mental anguish. Laufey didn't believe for a second what I told him.'

'Maybe he didn't. But maybe he wanted to believe you.'

Loki thought back to his last interaction with his birth father and Laufey's outburst at Loki's betrayal. There had been genuine anger there — too raw to derive from dispassionate calculation. Loki had touched on a nerve with the old frost giant, but there was no telling now what nerve Loki's knife had struck.

'Do you think I shouldn't have killed him?' Loki asked.

Thor leaned back in his chair. 'That, I don't know.'

Loki shrugged and silence fell between them, interrupted only by Loki gulping down the rest of his tea before it cooled completely and became unpalatable.

Thor drummed his fingers along the polished tabletop. 'It seems there was a lot we didn't get a chance to discuss before you rushed off. We've rather strayed from the purpose of this conversation, haven't we? Would you give me your word, brother? Should whatever the Mad Titan have in store overwhelm us, you won't trade my life for Midgard.'

'You're being ridiculous.'

'I was raised a warrior. I proclaim myself the Protector of the Nine Realms. It would be an honour to see the fields of Valhalla if my death assures the lives of the people of this realm.'

_Long live the petty brat I saw crowned a year ago. This is the Thor I lost the first time around._

Loki could scarcely breathe around the lump at the base of his throat. Did he have to explain the measures he had taken to ensure Thor's survival? He had come back to undo the devastation Thanos had inflicted upon the universe, yes. He had come back to make up for his part in Thanos' victory too. But most fundamentally, he had thrown himself back into the past because Thor had been lost to him. Thor — who had always forgiven him for the tricks, the lies, the betrayals and the cruelties Loki inflicted upon him. Thor, who had remained once their mother, their father, their home and their people had perished. And now Thor wanted Loki to agree to let him die?

No, absolutely not. The thought nauseated Loki.

And yet, wasn't that the same kind of callousness towards every other living being in the universe that the Avengers had displayed? He had heard the story — the Avengers had handed the Mind Stone to Thanos because they were unwilling to sacrifice one of their own. Thus, they sacrificed half the universe for a talking machine.

Was Loki about to make the same error? Could he live with himself if Thanos won once again, but Thor's life was assured? Would Thor forgive him for such a thing? And if not, where did Loki draw the line? What was his brother's life worth — Midgard? Asgard? The Nova Empire?

Loki buried his head in his hands and forced himself to take a breath. 'Sweet mercy, Thor, this is a miserably morbid thing to contemplate. Would you let me die to save our newfound Midgardian friends?'

Even from what little Loki could see from between his fingers, the stiffening of Thor's shoulders was unmissable. Loki pulled his hands away from his face and smiled coldly.

'Don't answer that. In turn, I won't answer the question you posed for me either. But, for what it's worth, if a situation like that ever arises, I'll take into consideration what you shared with me tonight.'

With that, Loki grabbed the file he had been intending to read and strode out of the room. He had a lot of regrets in his life, but this was the first time he found himself regretting the decision to venture out for a cup of tea.

**Why the scene was cut: **Ok, this wasn't cut, just completely rewritten.

Sometimes a writer gets impatient and writes scenes out of order. This is what happened here. I was still working through Part II when this scene started nagging at me. I hadn't outlined Part III back then and only had a vague notion that there would be a skirmish that Avengers would lose (the San Francisco battle). I wanted Gamora to trap Thor under a collapse building and have Loki give up his chance to capture Gamora in order to help Thor, which would precipitate this conversation. Although it's not explicitly stated in the text, this conversation is set in a kitchen in Stark Tower, a location the story never ended up visiting.

How did the scene end up flipped on its head? When I got up to this scene chronologically, I realised it didn't work at all. I couldn't figure out what could happen during the battle that would endanger Thor's life (figuring out how to kill Thor and Thanos was a headache in general), something was off about the emotional arc for Loki and most importantly, it's ham-fisted foreshadowing of Thor's eventual fate. I decided then that I'd be mean and drown the story in 'foreshadowing' of Loki's death instead.

* * *

**6\. Loki and Thor discuss Hela/Ragnarok**

**Original Placement: end of the first scene in Chapter 42 – The Victor's Table**

'You never explained how Asgard was destroyed,' Thor said.

Loki swallowed a grimace. 'That's a miserable story. And now isn't the time.'

'Will there ever be a time when I'd want to hear it? We are supposed to be venturing into the lair of a dangerous madman and the future of the universe is at stake. But I can't go twenty seconds without my mind turning back to your tale. It's been more than a week already, Thanos can wait another half an hour. I won't go into this fight distracted.'

'Bold of you to assume that what I have to tell you won't leave you all the more distracted.'

'Talk, Loki. Did you have a part to play in Asgard's downfall too?'

'Only with your blessing,' Loki replied snidely. Thor gave him a hard look, but Loki offered no direct reply and only motioned towards the other end of the beach. The strip between the water and the escarpment behind them was narrow, but the beach looked to stretch out for a good half a mile. 'Might as well take as stroll while we talk.

'As it turned out, my true blood isn't the only secret our father kept from us. On his death bed — a metaphorical death bed anyway, he was seated at the time — he came clean. We have an older half-sister. Hela. She was a vicious warmonger, whom he locked away for the safety of the universe, but her confinement ended upon our father's death.'

Thor's eyes narrowed. 'Why keep such thing a secret from us?'

'Our father had a taste for conquest in his youth. He and Hela brought the Nine Realms to heel, but then he changed. One old man I spoke to on the refugee ship thought that meeting our mother was the catalyst. Whatever the truth, while our father decided to recast himself as a protector of the peace, Hela's ambitions only grew. Remember that Valkyrie from Sakaar? She was a survivor of that quarrel. Odin sent the Valkyries to capture Hela and she slaughtered them. Brunnhilde was the only one to make it out alive.'

'Still, why the secrecy?' Thor pressed. 'Or if she's so dangerous, why imprison her, not kill her? Surely he knew she would break free one day.'

_He__'s still so young._

Loki glanced up at the darkening skies; there was no telling whether this was a natural deterioration in conditions or whether Thor's mood left the storm brewing. 'I think he wanted to bury the past he was ashamed of, yet he couldn't bring himself to kill his firstborn. He didn't have me executed either, merely locked up.'

'What happened when she broke free?'

'I did a foolish thing then. We were on Midgard and I called for Heimdall to take us back to Asgard, but she pursued as through the Bifrost. You and I she knocked out mid-travel, while she made it home. We ended up on Sakaar and she wrought havoc on Asgard. You, the Valkyrie and Banner, whom you didn't get to meet this time around, found a way back to Asgard, but it was too late. She had already shattered Mjolnir on our first encounter, now she took your eye. She drew power from the realm and with every hour she grew stronger. There was nothing else we could do.'

Thor took a quick step forward and whirred around so he was in Loki's path. 'We destroyed Asgard?'

'She wanted to conquer the universe, it wasn't merely Asgard at stake.' Loki had been about to offer up details of how they had turned their home-world into dust, but Thor's pale face brought an end to that plan. He merely waited for Thor to say something, yet the rumble of incoming waves ruled the hour. Loki sighed. 'That was a different time-line, Thor.'

'What does that matter? She's alive here too and one day our father will leave this world. How can he be so selfish as to keep this a secret?' Thor gritted his teeth. 'I don't know where I'd start when I see our father again.'

_I told you, you won__'t feel better once I explained._

'That sense of betrayal you feel now, think on that. It is the same feeling I felt when I learned Odin lied to me about what I was.'

'I suppose that's true.'

Loki kicked the pebbles under his feet and sent them skittering across the beach. 'That was then. It doesn't have to be this way here. Once we're done with Thanos, we will find a way to deal with Hela too.'

'Yes, we'll make it so.' Thor took a step back and looked up at the sky. He seemed to mumble something to himself, speaking so softly that Loki had no chance of hearing his words, then made an effort of recomposing himself.

'You satisfied now?' Loki asked.

'I'm certainly ready to smash someone's skull today. Prepare yourself, Loki.'

**Why the scene was cut: **There were two problems with this exchange. Firstly, Thor is well on the path towards calming down here, which seems too quick after Thor's behaviour the previous chapter and it diffuses the narrative tension right before the story climax. Yet there was no logical reason for Thor to hear Loki's account of Ragnarok and still aim his anger at Loki.

This leads into the second problem. Loki's explanation introduces a potential new antagonist (Hela) and an additional emotional grievance (Odin kept her existence secret from Thor all his life) at 130,000 words into the story. This is way too late for new story arcs.

Besides, it's more emotional for Loki if he's unsure how Thor felt about his brother at the end.


End file.
